About me

contact: alexandra (at) youarenotyourbehaviour (dot) com

I am Alexandra McCauley. I studied Cognitive Psychology at Edinburgh University and I now run a Nursing Home for older people. Before, after and in-between, a few things happened.

The bio I had previously written here, now makes me squirm.  I’m not a fan of the “I found a technique and it changed my life” or “it worked for me so it will work for you!” stories any more.

I’ve been through the “journey” of illness, trying “conventional” approaches that didn’t help, discovering  self-help, working with Practitioners, being “cured” (!yay! oh wait?!), becoming a Practitioner in new “cutting edge” approaches, being at the heart of a “therapeutic / self-help community” (or ‘family’ as it was known – don’t get me started),  gaining a wee following (excuse the wee-ing I live in Scotland), building a YouTube channel, writing on this Blog, 15 clients a week (3 hours at a time)… people starting to recognise me from my videos and coming up to me at conferences to thank me for helping them and giving them hope… making some significant-ish money, briefly … and then realising this was highly dubious and dismantling it all.

Around 2 years ago I stopped seeing clients, took myself offline, and my “Self-Help-Practitioner” persona kind of disappeared. Thank God.

This somewhat negative summary is not to say I didn’t learn anything useful. I’m sure a lot of what I knew then could and did help people … however, one of the most important things I’ve learned is how and when NOT to apply it. I spent most of my time in those years, trying to troubleshoot techniques and guidance that just didn’t ‘sit right’ with me. I now understand why. I’ve trained in some really intelligent approaches to mental health and personal development more recently, however it isn’t going to surprise many to say there is a lot to be concerned about in the world of Therapy and Self-Help.

So why am I here again? I love psychology, I love learning about and observing how people think and behave… including myself. Sometimes it’s entertaining, sometimes enchanting, often it’s somewhat disturbing. I’m fascinated by it and it seems in my nature to care about this stuff and write it down, in one form or another…. with a bit of poetic licence. If there is one thing I do feel confident about, enough to start writing again, it’s that becoming more aware of how we and others are thinking, interacting with the world and behaving is a hugely beneficial thing.

We are not our behaviour, but we do one hell of a lot of it….

I will certainly mention some of the crazy-making thinking and behaviours I’ve seen in the land of self-help, GURUS and personal development. I feel I owe this to the people who listened to what I had to say before, if any of them are interested. I put quite a few words out into the world, some expressing opinions I do not hold anymore – I want to redress the balance.

I live in the Scottish Borders with my husband, 2 badly behaved Labradors…. and after 20 years of living at opposite ends of the UK, my parents now live next door.

Image of stickman smiling

One Response to “About me”

  1. Kristen Massey 25th March 2016 at 2:11 am #

    Hi Alexandra… I was looking for a way to contact you via e-mail but i see that much of the information you used to have on your site is gone. I attended a webinar you did sometime last year on FasterEFT and was looking to connect with you again. It looks like you may be rethinking the modalities that you’ve used in the past and/or re-evaluating the entire process of “change” etc. I find the thoughts unnerving, but can’t deny i’ve had similar ones. I’m curious to hear you parse our your thoughts more. I do think that the modalities can be very helpful, but yes they can just be perpetuations of the problems, too, depending on how we’re using them. It is an idea that’s hard to articulate. I’d love to connect more if you’re interested.

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